So here we are, stuck in a post apocalyptic hole just over
the Kirghistan boarder. The three of us are skulking behind a pile of old truck
tyres, trying to keep warm , and its only midday. Been through the boarder half
an hour and looking for a lift to Osh 240km away. Taxis none, Cars none ,
trucks none. Micks heads of to find a loo, while Omer and I shelter fom the
wind. Eventually a woman appears and motions us forward with the words Cha
(tea). I look a t Omar. Anythings got to be better than this, off we go. We
arrive at an old russian army caravan with magazine (shop) painted on the side.
Funnily enough everything in town seems to have magazine painted on the side.
In we go, the stove, an exposed glowing element has heated
the place up a bit. We take off our shoes as is the custom and sit down
on the mat. Soon Chi is produced, and the woman starts to cook some thing, but
we tell her not to so she produces some bread with margarine and sugar. I go
out and find Mick and drag him in. The chi is good, the lady disappears and we
discuss the situation. We have none of the local currency the som. Where
inside, so a truck is not going to pick us up. Not that we have heard any
go past in the last hour. A bit more Chi and I decide to go have a look around
town. There is one permanent building with a few mangie dogs, and the
obligatory magizine sign. The roof is missing a bit and there are at least two
broken windows but for here it looks pretty habitable. Outside is a Busted jeep
and decript Lada. Inside I find a young bloke and an old babushka ( grand
mother). " Taxi Osh" I say. They look at each other. Da (yes) I pull
ot a bit of paper how much I motion . 4800 som I offer 1000 som ($30), doesn't
seem to have impressed them. I wander around a bit more still nothings happened
so its back to the Babuska. Stuff the som I dont have any anyhow but Im a
walking UN of small amounts of other stuff. USD, Swiss franks, Yuan, HKD, Euro,
GBP even the Aussie. I seem to have accumulated 20 bucks worth of them at at
one time or another. I'll try the trusty old greenback. "Osh $50" The
kid looks at me $60 he scribbles. We have a winner. He points at his
watch 3. I point at me and hold up three fingers.I go off and rejoin Mick and
Omar for a bit more Chi.
The lady returns, it's only about
one, so we sit around for a while longer. Mick thinks it might be rude to offer
her money for the tea. I reckon she wil tell us if she wants any. We get up to
leave, the hand comes out. I give her 10 Yuan. A bit more. another 5.
Happy. Off we go to the Magazine.
Once there we take a table. No one
seems very interested in us, Mick falls asleep. The odd truck heading towards
China goes past. The cops turn up buy some stuff , chat and leave. 2.30 goes
past. Finally the young guy returns. Its the Lada. We throw our stuff in the
back. The trip to Osh should take about 6_ 7 hours so we've been told. That
will get us ther about 10 with a bit of Luck. The road to Sarritash is very
bad, the one from there to Osh is good. No Problem. The dude needs lunch so we
sit down again and he disappears. 3.15 he reappears . Three large gringoes are
squeezed into the back. The packs come out. Go back in. The Babuska gets in the
front with a kid. A kid gets in the back. We Leave, drive 50 meters. The
babushka gets out, another woman with a child gets in the front. The packs are
rearranged. The babuska gets in the rear. Another child is pushed in. For those
of you not familiar with the Lada 4wd, its not very big. We now have 9 people
in it, plus bags. Off we go. The road is good Sealed, with the odd large crack
or dug up bit. We get 5km down the road we stop . Phone calls. We get out. The
babuska is not happy. The other woman is bumped to wait for the next truck,
with child. The derelict jeep turns up. The tyre is flat on my side but still
drivable. I'm told to swap seats with Omar as I look heaver. 15 minutes later
where off again. Up a couple of big hills , I look down and can see crashed
trucks that haven't made the turns in the valleys below. I thought the boarder
was the pass but we seem to be going higher.Another ten km up the road and
there is another check point. Passport. OK.A bit more of a chat. We back back
and a truck pumps up the offending tyer. Through the gate, the seal stops and
the road gets worse.
Much worse. All of a sudden the lada is bouncing
around like a cork in a bottle. Where getting higher and soon we are near the
snow line. Trucks covered in mud, are passing regularly the the other way, the
russian Kamaz variety seem popular. The scenery is great , like Switzerland .
High passes and beautiful valleys. Finally the snow begins to cover the road.
The odd truck is stuck but most seem to make it through. The lada makes hard
work of it, bashing through the truck sized pot holes. After an hour or so we
come to a stop. Dude ges out and washes windscreen while a loader clears snow
ahead. There are a couple of trucks in front of us and the cops which dude
talks to. The cops take off, a couple of trucks come past. We take off, there
are trucks cumming up so we back up again and wait. Off again, More bogged
trucks in front of us being puled out. The Dude zips past them. then past a
line of 20 more waiting to be towed up the hill. For the next couple of hours
its more snow, bogged trucks, stops to wash car, and potholes. We stop at one
stage to help a bloke dig out a truck. Mick loses his Monash hat when it gets
blown off, in the blizzard. Finally we start descending, and eventually we spot
a valley with a long straight road running through the center of it. The place
looks a bit like the Antarctic, very pretty but desolate with flat snow covered
valleys and huge mountains on either side in the distance. The Straight bit of
road turns out to be pretty long. It takes about an hour to get to the
other end, ducking and weaving round the potholes like a boxer.
Finally Saritash. the place looks a bit
more(but not much more) like a town. Its taken us 6 hours to get here, not
three. The good news is the road gets better from here. The dude stops to speak
to some locals, the Babuska gets out. The cops stop. Half an hour later where
on our way again. We stop and put petrol in the car. The cops are stopping
people at the edge of town. We get waived over, amazingly we dont stop. The
dude points at the other cop car, and drives past the madly waiving cop. First
time for everything. The road gets much better. Well much better Kazak style. Just
as rough, as many pot holes, just less snow and bogged trucks. We stop and was
the car again. The dude has washed his car more times in 100km than I
have washed mine in eight years.
Over another pass. The lada develops a
nasty Clunk Clunk sound going down hill. We stop. Look Keep going. Surprisingly
the good road is not much better than the bad one. Another big wash beside a
stream, another look at the clunk clunk. We pull up at a restaurant, by
now its eight o'clock. We go inside sit down, no food. Back on the road. We
cstop more gas."What time will we get to Osh"?. about one comes the
reply. We stop at another restaurant, and i trade the babuska $10 for some Som
at a reasonable rate. Chicken, Chi, and some sort of noodle soup appears. Not
Bad. Off Again. We've been awake 18 hours at this point so the novelty of being
jammed in the backseat is starting to wear off.
I doze off, We stop again. The dudes not happy.
The babuska has taken off for a chat. Where all tired, even him, she reappears
half an hour later after we've given the car a wash. Off to sleep again. I
awake and its one oclock but still no Osh in sight.The road at last has got
better, its sealed and there fixing it. this means you can get to eighty kmh,
the terminal velocity of a Lada. We only strike the odd huge un announced pot
hole. I'm awake by now but the dude is getting sleepy. Im watching him like a
hawk in case he falls asleep. At last at two o’clock we see lights that look
like a town. Qsh at last We've been on the road for 22 hours. I ask about a
hotel but the Babuska says something about her dorma(home). I don't care. We
pull into a garage, unfold ourselves from the back seat, and into a nice but
bare home. Shoes off and into the spare room. I pull out the sleeping bag hop
on the rug and head towards oblivion. Just before I drop off I glimpse out the window.
I see the Lada. It’s covered in mud.
007
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