Topic: Australia
"Go north young man" they said, and so we did. Melbourne has hit midwinter, traditional holiday season of Melbourne supporters and myself. While the Range Rovers are queing up to get into the Alpine national park, I'm looking for something a bit warmer. Mick has been driving up the coast of Oz for a couple of months now in his new 4wd, and he has finally got to where the thermometer has hit the positive range. Happy, who will be familiar to readers from the Griswold adventures, has agreed to join us. Together we will be tackling one of the last great Aussie treks. Cape York.
Cape York, land of abandoned Landcrusiers, buried in the bottom of crocodile infested rivers, surrounded by impossible corrugated impassable tracks hacked through the bush occupied by spear wielding natives. Yer that one. Even better still we are doing it in a Subaru outback something seen as a tonka toy by most serious 4wd owners. And so Happy and I,having survived a grueling jetstar flight ( they had run out of cheese toasties), caught up with Mick at Cairns Airport. Happy and my swags eventually appeared amongst the samsonites, I change into my battle gear (stubbies and thongs), and finally the three amigos were assembled and ready. Logistically the expedition has three key personal. Mick is chief planner. He has prepared detailed spreadsheets of the journey with times and distances between suitable fairtrade organic coffee shops. This level of planning is essential when one is heading away from the borders of Richmond and into the hipster unknown. Happy is our chief motivator and driver. Having come from a background of sales, he expects us not just to meet our targets but to exceed them. As usual I'm assigned to everything else. We start off with a Team meeting and a pep talk. Easy start today only a hundred clicks with a lunch at Port Douglas.
Next, Cape Trib, things aren't to hard here, we camp on the beach, get gourmet pizza, with a nice little Guatemalan Arabica. The next day the rough stuff begins so we start off with swim in the Trevethan falls followed by a Scallop pie at the Cooktown bakery. Elim beach is our camp spot. It's spectacular, but no swimming here because of the crocs, no power, no bar, and no food. Hap and I break out the survival ration pack, think about setting of the EPRB to get uber eats, but open the 2 liters of emergency drinking Cab Sav instead. We rustle up camembert, and salmon fettuccine for dinner.
On day three, a serious problem occurs when Happy realises Mick's spreadsheet agenda isn't tuned to achieve a proportionate viable outcomes with maximum bleeding-edge functionality. We are booked into the Laura Motel to recover after our day of roughing it, but it's a meer 300km away. We get there at three then retire to the pub, eat steak,and drop the tyre pressures. Tomorrows dirt.
Lunch Coen, move on, nothing to see here, Dinner Archer river. My god this is primitive, the burger isn't even MSA certified wagyu. Thankfully the next day is my birthday and we are going to the luxurious Weipa resort. Following the spreadsheet we get their around about lunchtime and drive around till we find some Sulawesi Robusta. It's next to a nice bakery with fresh whole grain bread and salad, something we haven't seen for 1500 km. I choose a mince pie. The resort is actually a pub catering to FIFO workers. There is no pool, and some dongas. Fortunately we have a room close to the bar, and the special is roast beef . The bowls club has a happy hour, and the temp has hit the high twenties. For my birthday I buy a new pair of thongs from Woolworths. Lets party.
At our morning sales meeting after a pep talk by Happy, we make a new pledge to target collaborative ROI, whatever that is. Fired up we head for the line. That night we make Bramwell Station. It is Australia's most northerly cattle station. For a reasonable price you get an average donga, good dinner and a great show. The bar is open late. It's a slow start the next morning but fortunately we are only 240 km from the top. We are now at the start of the telegraph track, this is where people with too much money see if they can get a five thousand dollar tow truck to rescue their one hundred thousand dollar toyota. We drive to the first creek crossing, there is a ten foot straight drop off into the creek, one hundred and fifty meters of mud then a similar climb out on the other side. Fortunately there is a chicken track a bit further on which is much easier.
Even better still there is a made maintained road where you can avoid the whole mess, and the RACQ will tow you from if you breakdown. We take a few photos and head back to the road. A swim and lunch at fruit bat falls, we even do a bit of the telegraph track and a creek crossing to check out Elliot Falls. Then off to the Jardine river crossing to pay our one hundred dollars white fella tax to the locals for a permit and a 30 meter river crossing. We are so close now we can taste it. There is even bits of sealed road. Bamaga has a bakery with an espresso machine. Refueled we surge on. Another twenty km of dirt and we hit the end of the road. Only a one km walk left now, I've got the new thongs on, let's hit it. Half an hour later we are there, a unremarkable bit of coast with a sign that says this is the most northerly point in mainland Australia. I stand just below the high water mark just to make sure I've got right to the top. Target achieved, Happy smiles.
That night we celebrate with a bucket of prawns, steak, and a nice red at Loyalty beach while watching the sun set. The next day we boat out to Thursday Island, which was named Friday island, until they swapped names so they fitted in with Tuesday and Wednesday islands. This was the main thing I remember from our short bus tour around the island. It's a bit like Tasmania, an Island, and everyone works for the government. No wonder it took a couple of goes to get the name right. Being a administrative center there is plenty of soft cheese and single origin coffee available here.
The truth is what was once a major expedition involving serious four wheel driving is now a thousand kilometer drive with a fair bit of dirt road. The government's aim is to have all the road sealed by 2020. Don't get me wrong, but if you were careful you could do it in a Hyundai. If you want to get bogged there are still lots of options but you have to choose them. Thanks to Mick for the ride and Hap for the company.
Cheers 007
More pics here.
Posted by bondrj
at 2:31 AM NZT
Updated: Wednesday, 16 February 2022 6:07 PM EADT
