Got a bit of time. Up for an adventure. Don't mind a bit of uncertainty in your life. 

Random Flying is for you.

I'm in Morocco, I have to get home to Australia before my last credit card expires at the end of the month. There are a few other minor things like I cant really spend any time in Europe but we will ignore them.

I really don’t like the flight to Oz. Twenty four hours is way to long to spend inside something that is really a glorified coke can. The sensible thing to do is fly to London and get a cheap flight back. I could do that for probably about $2.5 k, but what’s the fun in that.

Ok. Google flights. Morocco to somewhere, hopefully closer to home. Cairo $770, too much, Split $ 220. Mmmm. I’ve got a mate there. Flight leaves early, goes through Europe, which I have visa problems with, and gets in in the middle of the night Yuck.  For the next week I look every day. But no luck. 

Finally London Tirana, ain’t been there before, leaves at lunch time.  $145. Hit buy. Next Marrakesh London, even goes to the same airport. $210. Hit buy. Leg one down.

Tirana Somewhere. Back to google flights. Tirana is not exactly the aviation hub of the universe, but Athens  652 klicks away is. Scoot Athens Melbourne via Singapore $2.2 k. I have to try a couple of different cards to pay but eventually “get ready, your going to Mel” appears with a locator code. Leg 2 and I’ll be back for the Grand final. Easy.

A week later I’m standing in a big cue at ATH airport. Give the lady my passport, she types it in, Computer says no. “ I’m very sorry Sir, your flights been cancelled”, todays flight is full. Piss off. Thank you. I must admit one of my personality traits I don’t like is I don’t deal well with idiots. The problem with budget airlines is no one works for them. Yes I’m wearing a Scoot uniform standing under a Scoot sign, but I don’t even have a contact number for them. I waste their time, because their in a hurry, and now I’m not. Call the cops, ring your manager, I got lots of time. Eventually I get a contact number. 

The flights full, so this fight can wait for another day. One problem, I have used the last two days on my visa getting here. I can’t really just head back to town and wait around for another flight. But hey, l’m in an airport, it has wifi, and I have an iPad. Etihad have an economy flight for only $ 6000. An hour later, Saudia airlines . Jedda, Mala, Singapore. $600, and they even have a booking office at the airport. Leaves in a couple of hours. Jedda has a six hour stop over, but it’s night, a big modern airport and the restaurants open. I book a hotel to keep customs happy in SIN, and even get a couple of hours sleep. Mala is in the Seychelles, we don’t even get off the plane.

I like Singapore, it reminds me of Chadstone shopping center. Clean, well run, soulless.  It’s early evening, leg 2 down, I’m through customs, and it’s raining outside. Getting to Asia is not a problem. The problem is getting back to Australia. September, is school holidays, add in COVID, and half the airlines still aren’t flying. The Grand final is the day after tomorrow, and the ones left, are full.

There are no flights to Melbourne. I mean none. Economy ,business, first class, I probably couldn’t even hire a lear jet. Fortunately I just have to get back into Australia. Leg 3 Singapore, Manila, Sydney, Canberra. $964. Tick, $2 train to my hotel, feed at a noodle joint, sleep, breaky in the hotel, train back, give my train ticket to a backpacker at the station. I’m back in the checkin cue.

Manila airport, cue’s, crowds, heat, and dirt. Five hours here, but it takes two just to get back to departure. Finally we board. At the gate the hostie tells me I’ve got a seat change. It’s an overnighter so I don’t care. I find my seat, I’ve been upgraded to business. Wine, movies, and a sleep on the way back. Next morning at Sydney, I jump the bus to my friends place at Canberra. Here I’m a pensioner $ 30.

Leg 4 Canberra, Albury, Melbourne. I could get a flight but they are $400. Pensioner, Bus Train. $38.50. Easy. I’m running on cash because my last credit card has finally expired. Only problem the reserved train seats are full and they can’t guarantee me a ticket. In Albury I get a non reserved ticket, there’s plenty of space. The cafeteria is even open. We zip through the Victorian countryside. For under $2000 I’m standing at Malvern station on the same platform I left from four months ago.  Looks like nothings changed.

By the way, if your flight gets cancelled, without notice in Europe, you have an automatic right to up to 600 euros in compensation written into European law. If Scoot keeps on ignoring you, there are plenty of law firms on the internet who make a living from shafting budget airlines. Let the fun begin.